My 3 year old makes me look like a shitty mom. Obviously not always, just when we’re in a public place where other moms can – and in this case, I’m pretty sure did – judge me. I mean what better time could there be to throw a fit and beg for love than at the mall at lunch time? It gave many people lunch hour entertainment, and for at least one scowly woman I’m sure gossip for her friends and spouse.
Let me explain my situation. We were walking through the mall at lunch trying to get from one end of the food court to the other, swerving in and out of people patiently waiting to place their delicious lunch time order. I’m hungry, Liam is hungry, and the little one I watch is hungry. I would like to make my way out of the food court, out of the mall, and into my van to go home for lunch.
This is the conversation going on between Liam and I:
“Mooooom I need a hug!”
“How about you hop into the cart so we can go quickly.”
“ Mooommm I can’t, I just need a hug first!”
“Liam just get in the cart.”
“Mooooooommmmmmm! Don’t you have time for a hug, I need a hug first!”
“No, no I don’t have time for anymore hugs today, get into the cart.”
“Why can’t you hug me moooommmm?! Why?!”
And this where Gossip Girl gives me a super big scowl, this is where Liam starts to cry. Why couldn’t I just give him a hug you ask? Let me tell you about Liam’s new big thing; he needs a hug for everything… He needs a hug before he can eat his breakfast, he needs a hug when I wipe his bum, he needs a hug to clean up the toys, he needs a hug if we run out of juice, he needs a hug to put on his boots, he needs a hug if his boots are on the wrong feet, he needs a hug if we have to stop for gas, he needs a hug if I have to turn off the van and the movie goes off, he needs a hug because Auntie came for a visit. All in all Liam is already getting about 4 hours’ worth of hugs a day. He is not starved for hugs or love, he just makes random snippets of conversation seem that way in order to get the mass population on his side for sympathy. If I was a meme I would be the Dos Equis guy going “I don’t always seem like a cruel hearted monster, but when I do I’m withholding love from my three year old at the mall”.
So yes darling three year old, please enjoy your time publicly humiliating me in front of hundreds of people. My time will come at your wedding where all those naked bum pictures, boy in dress pictures, and your beautifully painted toe and finger nail pictures will come in handy.