What do moms really want? To never have to do chores again is a good start. Lindsay shares her list of the 12 things she dreams of.
By Lindsay Brown
By Lindsay Brown
The other day as I was surfing the web I came across an article called ‘what women really want’. I couldn’t help myself from checking it out – I wanted to know if this article in fact understood me as a woman better than I understood myself.
As I clicked on it my eyes were accosted by suggestions like,
1) We need you to tell us we're beautiful.
2) We want you to stop asking how the ‘sex’ was.
3) We want you to see…Like really see us cry.
And it went on like that for a while. I didn’t keep reading because these first three ideas were already so far off I felt it would be a waste of my time to continue on further. First of all my husband had better not need a list to remember to tell me I’m beautiful. But that is beside the point anyways because I’m a self-assured and confident woman so I don’t need anyone telling me that I am beautiful. I know I am. Secondly, if a dude wants to get some tips on how to perform better in the bedroom department, go for gold my friend! And seriously as a mother, wife and woman, that issue isn’t even close to getting on my list of probs. And finally, once I start in on my intense cry session that involves forceful hyperventilation and my face scrunching up so immensely that I resemble the pug dog that poops on my front lawn every morning- I want to be by myself. Period.
So after realizing this list was a crock of you-know-what I decided to write my own list of what I think women like myself really really want. Obviously I can't say that this will appease every woman out there- maybe you would agree more with the original list. Maybe you are more of a sunshine and lollipops wantin' kind of gal. I'm just saying, I feel like mine is a bit more realistic.
1) I want to look on and under my kitchen sink without seeing beer cans stacked to the high heavens.
2) I want to be a hat person.
3) I want to turn back time and tell myself never to pop that zit on my earlobe…I haven't worn my hair back for weeks!
3) I want to turn back time and tell myself never to pop that zit on my earlobe…I haven't worn my hair back for weeks!
4) I want to look at an empty laundry basket.
5) I want to walk into my daughters room and not get attacked with the overwhelming stank of urine.
6) I want to throw caution to the wind, and chuck out all of my cleaning supplies…Knowing full well that I will never have to scrub another toilet AGAIN!!!
7) I want to look sexy in my housecoat…You know like the big time movie stars do.
8) I want to look at the sink to see no grimy dishes staring up at me for once in my life.
9) I want to never again know the sorrow of almost completing my hair only to find out I am fresh out of hairspray.
10) I want to no longer know the horror of finding a new zit and wrinkle simultaneously in one sitting at the mirror.
11) I really really want to know what a full day of not having to plunge the toilet is like.
12) And finally I want my husband to stop pestering me to throw out my comfy slippers…I love them and they are perfectly formed to my feet okay!!!
BOOM! WHAT A WOMAN REALLY REALLY WANTS.
Lindsay Brown is a mother, wife and freelance writer. Her two kids and husband combined with all of their misadventures in family life give her more than enough material to keep her writings fresh and funny. You can find more of Lindsay's work on her blog- The Blogging Mama as well as her Tuesday's column 'Me Plus Three' in the Red Deer Advocate.
http://lyndzeerae27.wordpress.com/
http://www.reddeeradvocate.com/
