In the past I’ve mentioned that I am a terrible cook. This is just a fact, one that cannot be remedied by a quick fix cookery class or culinary art books aplenty. And I have made it my lot in life to accept this plight with a knowing smile.
There is just something about combining the right amount of this or a pinch of that that does not bode well with me. Instead I decide that a whole shwack of ‘this’ would be sufficient and a pinch is more like “hmmm I feel like I might need a little bit more…” until the whole shebang is riddled with too much salt and not enough goodness in general.
Lucky for me, my husband is a chef, and a very talented one at that (please excuse my swooning). Oh he has tried to rid me of the bad habits I exhibit in the kitchen, but never succeeding in his quest.
Each time I pick up his very full-sized and pointed knife to dice whatever needs dicing, he cringes with the innate fear that he will soon be married to some fingerless woman and there will be me, bawling in the corner clutching my bloody and maimed appendage, screaming that this is somehow his fault because his knife was too sharp.
So all in all, we have come to the agreement that I will do as little cooking as humanly possible.
The problem is now, that my dear hubby is very hard at work these days and does not have time to cook for us at home. So what am I to do? Let the children live off of KD and Spaghetti-O’s? I couldn’t do that to my two little darlings, so some time back I made it my mission to discover some way to cook something that could be deemed as edible.
And boy did I ever…
Introducing Lindsay’s Crockpot Creations!
Have you ever cooked with a Crockpot? It is literally foolproof, nay, it is terrible-cook approved! I’ve been whipping up anything my heart desires in this baby, and each one-pot meal turning out better than the last.
I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAST!
So without further ado I will reveal to you my recipe for my Spicy Jambalaya:
And enjoy the tantalizing tastes that will begin to waylay your mouth and area!
You know, I think I might have to scrap the whole blogging business and get into The Cookbook industry…I feel like I could really have a good shot at this.
Alrighty now for the magic to begin…
Step one- Cook meat. Do not burn yourself on the enormous flame that is produced whilst turning your gas oven on…I know it is frightening but man-up and get through it as it is best to cook meat before shoving it down your gullet.
Step 2- Attempt to find can opener for tomatoes…Begin stomping around furiously when unable to locate opener (this seems to be a recurring problem for me).Throw pan across the room. Flush when realizing you have been holding it in your right hand the entire time. Open tomatoes and pour into Crockpot.
Step three- Shoo Children away from kitchen…Explain that Mama is a dangerous and untrustworthy individual in the cookhouse and it is in their best interest to be far away when in that stated vicinity.
Step 4- Carefully, and I mean carefully chop up random vegetables you have found in the back of your fridge. In big delicious chunks. Dicing is for duds.
Step five- Remove meat from heat…Oh I kill me…And transfer into Crock-potting machine.
Step 6- Allow all ingredients to stew for a while. I don’t really know how long, go with your gut on this one guys, like seriously do I have to hold your hand through this entire process?
Step seven- Add unnamed hot sauce and Parm spice.